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Wedding in Chehlum


Assalam o alikaum,

I am in a dilemma, my close female cousin who is sunni has had a wedding proposal which they have accepted and are thinking of holding the wedding in October of this year. Once we were informed of the marriage and the proposed dates, i went and spoke to my aunt and advised that that my husband has refused to attend as this falls within chehlum and due to this he will not participate in any of the wedding functions. She said she will try to consider this but the decision of the date is dependant on what suits everyone and what the grooms side decide, which they have confirmed will surely be in October this year. We have checked online and we know that chehlum is expected to end on the 30/31st Oct and therefore my husband has said he will not attend. My aunty has requested us to attend and said she was unable to change the date. My husband said he does not care and will not attend the wedding as its an insult to the ahlul bayt (as) i agree with him to an extent. BUT i also feel that not attending the wedding functions will cause alot of family arguments, issues which will not be forgiven for a long time. My family do not understand why an exception cannot be made. My husband says a wedding is not a reason to make an exception. I feel rather stuck as i do not know what the right thing to do is? I feel if i decide to go my husband will be very angry and upset with me, however if i dont go my cousin will be extremely upset and my family will fall out with me and create alot of problems and scenes over not attending causing alot of disunity. I also ofcourse dont want to disrespect the martyrs of karbala for joining celebrations in a period of mourning. Please can you advise me on what to do, is there anything that states i should or should not go the wedding of my cousin? Please help me as I cant think what the ahlul bayt (as) would do in my place? Iltemase dua.


Waalaykum Salaam,

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