Allah help You with your situation inshaAllah
It is difficult to deal with people who do not understand and know the method of approaching others. Anyhow, this shouldn't put you down my sister in Faith.
I would really suggest you Seek some counselling and also get some medical attention on your issues,
Pls refer to the link below to a Question just like yours.
The above also shows you are not the only one.
Also, I find it wise to mention that Hijab is your ornament that you are trying to keep away from your self. Just like you're worried not to get into haram by doing a surgery on your self (which it's not!), I wonder why you would like to simultaneously do another haram to solve the same?!