Sorry to hear about your situation.
I would suggest you speak to a counselor ASAP. You should make sure you convey your feelings to your mother. She should know what's in your heart for her and how she is being deceived.
After all she is your mother, and I'm sure she will want to hear all this.
Also, try and keep a low tone with your mother. After all her status is beyond imagination. Silence really solves the hardest of things on earth.
My dear sister, only cowards give up. Whether you run away or kill yourself, in either way you haven't solved the problem. There is no progress there. Rather a Regress.
Committing suicide is a major sin and Allah (Azj) despises people who do that.
Anyhow please seek some immediate help. Thinking this way isn't healthy and could cost you. Please speak to a local Aalim, counselor and or an Elderly who your mother would listen to.
In my special duas