You are here

Rights of Wife VS Mother

Q:

Assalamualaikum I wanted to know the rights of Islam in behalf of Wife VS Mother. Jazakallah Khair

A:

Alaikum Salam,
 
Its very good to be educated about your rights as well as your parent in laws. This way your respect for them will increase and it may change your outlook that the situation is not like a for or against one towards another.  Its rather a perfect  balance.
The rights of a wife can be divided into common and particular rights.  The common ones that she shares with her spouse are that behaving with honour and equity towards each other, adorn and gratify each other with sexual needs and rearing and providing needs for their children physically, mentally and spiritually. The financial responsibility lies with the father.
As for the exclusive rights of a wife, they are that
she is to be protected and guarded by her husband.
 
The rights of a wife exclusively can be summarized as follows.
 
1. Providing for the expenses of the family, making plans through consultation, and managing the incomes and expenditures of the family
2. Safeguarding, protecting, and looking after all members of the family
3. Overseeing religious, moral, and cultural issues of family members, guiding them towards improvement and spiritual and physical development, and preventing social and ethical corruption within the family.
 
In Islam, the responsibility of guardianship, supervision, and management of the family have been set on the shoulders of men. As Allah  the Exalted, has stated in the Holy
Quran.
When it comes to the rights of a mother, a man or a child should be benevolent and caring to.his parents and reach out to them in need especially if they be old or sick when the need to be cared for  becomes even more. He should obey his parents but not at the expence of  disobedience towards the commandments of Allah s.w.t. 
Therefore there is no collision of rights and both the wife and the mother can be accorded their due rights without any conflict unless of course unnecessary demands are made from both sides to which compromise has to.be made to avoid misunderstandings.  For instance, if the wife wants to live in a separate house there is no.harm if the mother can take care of.herself or she has her husband or other children.  The child can take care and be kind to his parents even if they live separately.  On the other hand if the wife is being unreasonable and has too.many.demands for example financial demands and the husband cant meet all those because he is financially helping his.mother, then the wife should comply and be satisfied if her basic needs are met.  Islam provides every solution to make the lives of all the family members turn into a peacful and amicable one.
 
Salma Alavi