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Counsel - I Keep Committing the Same Sin

Q:

Asalamualaikum, Firstly, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my message. I'm currently 16 and am in high school and Allah the Almighty has gifted me with many things in this life. He has granted me with somethings which I cannot even describe in words. Despite all that he has gifted me with, I keep making the same mistake over and over again. Over a year ago, Allah has saved me from pornography addiction, and I haven't watched porn again. Along with porn, I would also masturbate. Though I masturbate less frequently ever since I quit porn, I still have not quit masturbating. Every time I have committed the sin, I would promise Allah never to do so again. A week or a month later I would commit the same sin again. This has been going on for over a year now. Sometimes I would admit to my parents, and sometimes I won't, but I still keep committing the same sin. I've come to the point to which I fear promising to Allah, because I might do it again. I fear the punishment of Allah but I allow the desire to take over me. I lower my gaze, yet the memory of the pornographic content still lures in my head. I know what to do to prevent my desire, like reading the Holy Quran, reading Dua's, and Extra Salat, yet when the desire comes by, I rarely do any of these things, I just allow the desire to take me over. The sad thing is that I really, really, really want to Inshallah be of one of Imam Mahdi's 313 close companions. One day I Inshallah want to enter the Howza and become a sheikh. To be honest, I don't want paradise, I just want to please my Lord because of all the Mercy he has bestowed on my family and I. Despite my goals, I don't do anything to try to pure myself. I also ironically daydream about myself being a sinless man that everybody looks up to instead humbling myself in my thoughts. There's so much I wish to say that only Allah knows, but with the help of Allah, I ask you to help me by giving me some advice that could help me. Thank you very much, and may Allah reward you.

A:

Waalaykum Salaam,

Kindly refer to the following links for your answer: http://askanalim.org/node/2438   http://www.askanalim.org/node/184

With thanks and regards,

Ask An Alim Team.