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nikkah

Q:

Aoa brother, It’s a sister in distress. My question is related to nikah. I want to marry a guy and he wants to marry me to but there are problems from his family’ Side. He told me we can perform nikah ourselves as it just requires the guy and girl to bear Allah (SWT) witness to their union and repeat the words that I take him(his full name) and her name(full) and say I take her him as my husband and wife. According to him by doing this.we both have become halal to each other as Allah and the Prophet have been made our witnesses. I need you to please confirm it as I am very confused

A:

Waalykum salam 

 
Thank you for your Question. 
 
A girl before marrying needs the permission of her Father or Grandfather. If she doesn’t have this permission, the Nikah is invalid! Hence in your case the Nikah would be invalid. 
 
Kindly refer to the link below no. 2385: 
 
 
www.sistani.org
The Official Website of the Office of His Eminence Al-Sayyid Ali Al-Husseini Al-Sistani

 

 
My dear sister, at times, our love for someone can drive us to extreme ends, but it is only wise to seek shelter under the Shariah and that will save you from all mishaps! 
Since you or your family don’t have a problem, and it is his side that has one, he should try and resolve this and send a decent proposal so that you become his wife. 
 
On a side note, a man down not need to obtain permission of his father or grandfather like a woman does, hence he is very much capable to making his own decisions. (This does not mean I’m suggesting he goes against his parents, rather he should know his rights and maybe that will help solve his issue much easier). 
 
I will recommend you to speak to your local Aalim who can intervene and play as an intermediary to resolve the issue. 
 
Good luck
 
Kind regards 
 
Naajiya Jaffery