You are here

Wife being stubborn and wants a divorce

Q:

Salaam alaikum I am currently in a difficult situation. My wife has told me to leave because she no longer has feeling for me and its been six weeks now since im living away from her. I am unable to focus on anything and constantly thinking about my wife and kids. I am doing adhkar and also praying but i feel so depressed that i sometimes wish i was dead and my family are stressed out and her family aswell but she is not listening to anyone. I will add in the begining of the marriage i was a bad husband but everytime i tried to change but fall back and continue and falll back. We both have been physical before towards each other but that stopped. She recently spoke to someone and they told her that your husband will never change and its better for her to get a divorce from me and since then she goes i have no feelings for you and waited until the last six weeks to say she wants a divorce. I may have been bad but i also tried to give her rest bu helping look after the kids in the morning because she sleeps late and always prioritised her over my work. Money is a problem because im mostly at home with her helping her but she says i never do anything. I was having dreams of my family before like being with her and the kids but that stopped. I have been praying istikharah to ask allah for guidance in what to do and two out of the four times i prayed i always dreamt that i asked her to work things out and she agrees. I would like to know if this is a sign from allah to not give her a divorce and she is khair for me or isit just my nafs as i really want to get back to my family and raise the kids together. She said she will never get back with me because of everything thats happened but when the bad stuff happened she always stayed and when i promised to actually give a new life and strived to changed she kicked me out. My kids i see once a week and they miss me and always ask where i am. Please help me as i am really depressed and none of my family understand and i know its not normal for a man but i sometimes cry thinking about them and what happened. And i also have suspicions that she may be talking to someone but everyone tells me its from the shaytan and not to listen to it.

A:

Waalykum salam 

Thank you for your Question 
 
I’m sorry to hear about your situation with your wife. 
 
Looks like you have had s tough time with one another in the past. But you also sound quiet determined to have your life back. 
In this case I would suggest you speak to someone who will have an impact on her decision like a Local Aalim. Or an elderly in the family who she will listen to. 
All you need is a chance to prove your love and dedication to your family. 
 
I would suggest that you also opt for family counseling once she agrees to reconcile or is Atleast thinking about it. 
 
Just FYI,dreams cannot be relied upon as a Sign(s) from Allah (swt). The entire thing has a lot of conditions and prerequisites to be counted as an authentic dream. 
 
InshaAllah that your problem is solved and you can enjoy your family again 
Kind regards 
Naajiya.S.Jaffery