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Cheating

Q:

Hi i have cheated on my husband i became too close to my ex and I regret it so much now that i cry for mercy from allah I have not had sex with him but I had kissed himan became close i am not able to foret it haunts me every day and night do yoy think my husband should know my husband has cheated on me many times before and he has also hit me that was before me cheating he jas also slept with another woman but i forgave him he use to hit me and abusive language everything is still the same but i am not going to justify my action by just because he use to hit me and did cheating me i have the right to do cheating. I am not oing anytbing now he still suspects me he has always suspcted me please tell me what should i do he loves me alot but his anger and these his habits make him do what he does to me.

A:

Waalykum salam 
 
Thank you for your Question 
 
Your husband doesn’t need to know what has happened especially because you regret it and have InshaAllah repented on it. 
But it is crucial to remember that you are under the watch of the Almighty (swt). How will you ever get over this!? 
It is time you collected yourself well and ask Allah for forgiveness (one of the conditions of repentance is to never go back to the same sin ever again). InshaAllah this act of seeking for forgiveness will bring peace and confidence in you. 
 
Also, life does not run on the basis of tit for tat. It often may sound that way because people behave that way. But trust me sister, someone else’s actions and doings should not direct yours. Act according to what your fashioner wants out of you and you shall always stand head high and confident InshaAllah. 
 
I find it wise to mention that you should seek some counseling for yourselves (you and husband) and regulate this internal abusive (domestic violence) relation. This is even more important if you have kids or are planning to have one soon. 

Kind regards 
Naajiya Jaffery