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Controlling Sexual Urges

Q:

Cant control urges.... Its too hard to handle....... i used to masturbate but I didnt knew it was a sin....and I am not involved int for about 3 to 4 years

Now i am 18 and about to be 19.....its just get start to take over me....when ever i am alone urges arise in me I am determined not to masturbate. But these urges drives me crazy. . .

I know you will said to fast not be alone for long and do secure clothing. but what would I tell my mom about fasting they will think that i am becoming an extremist...... .

so in the end plz tell a fast way

A:

Thank you for your question.

The secret to controlling urges is to catch them early because after they pass a certain stage they really do test the will power. Catching a sexual urge early is not allowing the imagination to take it out of your control. By that I mean to control the strength of your urge is to control the flight of your imagination into those wrong areas. Controlling that imagination is to realise that it is baseless, as the image of sex is one built by million dollar industries employing evil and corrupt women and men. It is cheating and far from real life. All of this returns to controlling your eyes in the first instance. It is also to know that this stage of uncontrollable urges is temporary and will pass with marriage and age, while the affects of masturbation will negatively affect your sex life in the long term. You are doing well having stayed away from it for 4 years. Keep it up. That is on the side of this life.
You know every time you control your urges there are two rewards in the next life. The first is that you avoid the punishment of doing something you know you shouldn’t and the second is the reward from staying away from what Allah has forbidden. Included in that reward are the hurr al-ayn. These are women of paradise and it is said that people are only tempted by women in this world because they have forgotten the beauty of these women of paradise. If only a strand of their hair was to fall on this earth, the whole earth would be filled with fragrance. So be patient for a time and your reward is with Allah.
 If you are still having trouble controlling your urges one advice is to go and make ghusl every time an urge begins. Although you may have difficulty explaining why so may showers at least you won’t be labelled an extremist! With time the psyche will adjust as it will be less of an effort to control the thoughts then to keep taking showers.

May Allah help you and reward you for your combatting your self in His way

'Abd Allah Esmail