I wanna ask what's the role of my mother in law in my family .What's her right's on my children.I want to find an answer what is the best way to react to it.
We don't live with husband parents,but mother in law is visiting us from time to time.When she's staying at our house,she's making up her rules,commenting on our life style,telling us what to do,what not to do,very often shouting if we disagree with her,specially if we buy toys for kids she's shouting that it is a sin because my kids already have many toys.In 8.5 years of marriages I didn't start arguing first,I never comment on her even once,it's always she's starting,sometimes I stand for myself,but still trying to do it in calm way.Last time I asked her not to shout on my kids and not give them command to do something,I've been told that I am not allowed to talk and to keep my mouth shut,all this different words was not saying by normal way,she shouted on me like all neighbors could hear it.
My husband always stands for what's right,many time's he argued with his mother asking for her to stop be bossy at home.My point is,even if my husband stands by my side,what is the best way for me to react as a muslimah who fears Allah.
My husband always tells me not put things deep in my mind,forgive her,as he say that she love me so much (for me love is respect at first apology which she didn't gave me after last fight and so on...) after last time we argued she apologized my husband,by telling him she's sorry and asking my husband to tell me that she's sorry,for me it feels like all she wants that her son would love her the most (which I am fine with it she's his mother) and that her son wouldn't be mad at her thats very important to her,otherwise she would apologized me for hurting my feelings.By the way i argued with my husband many times because of her interference
Is it okay for mother in law shout on my kids at my home,to command them to clean their room etc .when she's visiting us?
She done good things for us too ,but negative screams louder that positive at this point.Is it okay to tell me in front of other family member that I need to lose weight,because I am fat,it was insulting for me that time because I was just gave birth to my baby,and when I called her rude she played a victim to my husband in the evening that his,wife called his mother rude (she's ignoring the fact that she was insulting me) and how I dare to ask her not to shout on my kids,because she's a grandmother,and she us bigger and I was talking like a dog.is all of this okay?Should I still be kind to her?This is driving me crazy to the point that for a split second I am even questioning my own marriage!
Thank you in advance.